My Testimony

On the plane home from Women's Conference, I was reviewing my notes (nearly 20 pages). I also thought about my testimony. The more I thought and read, the stronger I felt the Spirit and tears came to my eyes. I had always thought my testimony wasn't strong enough to share. So I (do I dare admit this?) have never gotten up during fast and testimony meeting at church and shared it. It was definitely strengthened during Women's Conference. While on the plane I felt that I needed to get up on Sunday and bear my testimony. I rationalized with myself, trying to talk myself out of it. I decided that if I could give birth to 4 kids, all without any drugs. I could bear my testimony. The only problem is that when I get up to speak in church, even pray, my eyes become like dripping faucets and my hands sweat like crazy.

I have began deep-breathing to calm down and to de-stress. I did this most of the morning, with it increasing during the beginning part of church. Last night before I went to bed, the feeling of needing to bear my testimony had passed. This morning, while sitting through sacrament, the feeling began to grow again. It is so incredibly hard to ignore feelings like that!

So I went up. Eric, sitting on the stand with the rest of the bishopric, was completely shocked. His mouth dropped open. I thought I could be strong through it all, but those faucet genes kicked in. I shared some of what was spoken by the Prophet at Women's Conference. I also shared my testimony. I left some things out, mainly because I forgot, but also because I was done crying and shaking. (Yes, my legs and arms shook the whole time!) So, here's my testimony written down (which is a first).

I know that I have a Heavenly Father who knows me, loves me, and is mindful of me. He hears and answers my prayers, according to what is best for me. I have a Savior, Jesus Christ, who loves me so much that he died for me so I could live with him, Heavenly Father, and my family again. I know that the Holy Ghost can be our constant companion to guide us, protect us, and comfort us. I know that Joseph Smith is a true prophet who restored the gospel. I know that the Book of Mormon is a true account of ancient people and Jesus Christ in the Americas. I know that families can be together forever, through the temple ordinances. I am so very thankful for this knowledge. The gospel provides such peace in my life. I love my family very much. I am grateful for my family, immediate and extended family members. I write this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.