Colton: 1 Week

Colton and I had a great 1st week. I had been worried about bringing home a newborn because of how difficult all the other kids have been. Colton has been completely opposite of all the other kids. He has slept wonderfully at nights, waking up to be fed, and going back to sleep. I remember with all of the other kids how they would each have their fussy 2-3 hours every night, during the middle of the night. This has not happened. It has been a wonderful surprise. I remember that it would be so difficult to do anything, even going to the bathroom because I would have to constantly tend to the other kids when they were babies. It hasn't been that way this time, which has been great.

Colton has been eating well, and as a result has been peeing on an outfit daily. I'm still trying to get used to that aspect of a little boy. I think I've come up with a solution, covering his area with a washcloth each time I change him. It's helped two times so far.

For me, it has been an emotional week. I've cried daily. I've cried because I've felt so incredibly blessed to have such a miracle baby in my life. I've cried because I've felt alone. Eric has had jury duty for a very grueling case, which has kept him occupied every day. I've only been able to talk to him once a day at lunch times. He has come home so completely exhausted, that it's been hard. I've cried because of my grandma. I've thought about her reunion with Grandpa and their little baby. It's been quite touching to know that she is raising her little one at the same time as me. I've cried because I've missed my family. Grandma's funeral was on Saturday in Utah. Everyone (my parents and siblings) left to go to the funeral, and I was alone here. Saturday was a hard day, knowing that the funeral was happening, and all of the emotions that everyone was having while I was at home. My dad called from the cemetery and I just cried. I felt so bad for missing out on everything, feeling like I wasn't being supportive to them. I think one of the reasons Colton was born early was to help me get through Grandma's death. Colton has been a good distraction.

There have been mixed emotions, but overall, it's been a wonderful week and I actually feel like I'm not sinking and that I will definitely survive a newborn.